( Note as of 07/28/2015 ) I've revised this story and had another edit done. It will be posted in Short Stories, since the new version is over 1000 words. Read it at SD1100.Blogspot.com
When Bob walked into the gun store, he had no idea what he was doing. He had never owned a gun, only shot a BB gun when
he was a kid, and was not a very good shot. But he was now sixty-five
years old, he had heard about robberies in the area and started
thinking he needed to protect himself. Bob never served in the
military, and never did anything with law enforcement. He had been an
actuary before retirement. He and his wife of forty-five years were
living one block off the beach in a small cul-de-sac in sunny
tropical Florida. The crime rate for his zip code was less than one
in a thousand on petty crimes and zero per thousand on homicides. Bob
went ahead and bought a gun anyway and, paid for a months’ worth of
lessons.
"Stop
squeezing your wrist! Use your trigger finger! You miss all your
targets to the left!" The instructor exclaimed in a firm, but
barely polite tone.
“ I’m
trying, my finger is not strong enough to pull the trigger. Maybe you
can show me another way to fire the gun” Bob replied
Thanks Tamsin, Story is based on a real life event that happened a few years ago in Winter Beach Fl. I felt it needed to be expressed to the public, without trying to fluff it, so I just let the event speak for itself.
Excellent write! I love the foreshadowing of Bob recognizing the similarity of the 2 houses. Sadly, I can definitely feel for Bob as well as Doug's parents. Sadly, our own paranoia and a society losing morals drives us to these situations.
Amazing how your thoughts turn inward and hope to hell this never happens to you! Found you through twitter. I think you RT. I would have never have found you otherwise.
Thanks Dario, I wrote this not as a anti piece- on the main subjects. If I had made it purely anti gun or anti drinking, it would have turned into a short story that preached to the reader and I do not want to do that, I want young people to think about all their situations. Thanks for you comments.
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7 comments:
Fast paced, smooth read. Thanks Artemis
Thanks Tamsin, Story is based on a real life event that happened a few years ago in Winter Beach Fl. I felt it needed to be expressed to the public, without trying to fluff it, so I just let the event speak for itself.
Excellent write! I love the foreshadowing of Bob recognizing the similarity of the 2 houses. Sadly, I can definitely feel for Bob as well as Doug's parents. Sadly, our own paranoia and a society losing morals drives us to these situations.
Amazing how your thoughts turn inward and hope to hell this never happens to you! Found you through twitter. I think you RT. I would have never have found you otherwise.
Thanks Susie.
Some of the subjects that touch is so socially relevant and sensitive at the same time.
It feels you have done a lot of research on the subject, which is already very hard to do.
Great work here.
Thanks Dario, I wrote this not as a anti piece- on the main subjects. If I had made it purely anti gun or anti drinking, it would have turned into a short story that preached to the reader and I do not want to do that, I want young people to think about all their situations. Thanks for you comments.
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